Halloween: Slutty ain't Sexy

An Open Letter to Females This Halloween,

      Pumpkin Spice Lattes, the smell of fireplaces starting up, and the inevitable billboards featuring a hooded skeleton have arrived. It’s the time of year when Halloween approaches, and we wonder if we’ve dieted enough to fit into that half-sized mini-costume we believe is what we should wear on a day which USUALLY winds up cold enough to want a sweater by the end of the night. You know the costume.

     You buy it at that Halloween Store that cropped up mid-September; it has a mini-dress, and a headpiece to identify you as the Sexy-Whatever. You may have gone all out and bought the matching thigh-high tights (which you already doubt will stay up right) and/or 6-inch let’s-be-honest-they’re-for-strippers heels to accompany the look. All of your friends coordinated which Sexy-Whatever they were going to be, so at least in YOUR group, there are no repeats. Maybe you did the same last year, and saw your costume repeated in at LEAST six other girls before the night was over. Remember that? Remember not being individual on the one night where you can really break out of the box (or the cheap plastic bag-costume?!) and be something unique?

     Did you watch Miley Cyrus this year, when her performance sparked a HUGE internet blow-up about her performance, her costume, and her choices? Where with one unanimous voice, the internet screamed, “Yeah, you CAN, but maybe you SHOULDN’T. Learn, little girl, the difference between “skanky” and “sexy”.

            There is a huge discrepancy between what you CAN wear, and maybe what you SHOULD wear. Before buying the $19.95 polyester costume that 800 other girls have already bought from that Halloween Store, think for a moment about two things.

One – was this what I would have wanted for myself when I was five? And Two – Will I even be comfortable in this? If your wide-eyed, still-believes-in-magic self at 5 would think you actually look like a lady bug, chances are you’re not in a skintight spotted mini-dress with hooker heels.  Let’s face it, walking or dancing in those heels is gonna hurt within 10 minutes. Let’s not pretend that’s comfortable.

     Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place for corsets, thigh-highs, and stripper heels. It’s called the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and happens with just such costumes frequently around Halloween. Go. Dress up, enjoy. But maybe, after you do that, give some more thought to what you can be for Halloween, beyond a trying-to-hard near-stripper outfit.

       Frankly, it’s boring. The Mean Girls quote, “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it” is from 2004. 2004 is almost ten years ago. Ten years of stripper-bees and stripper-firemen is enough, don’t you think? 

     Let’s stop glorifying “looking like a total slut” and instead get creative. Get unique. Break out of your complacent comfort zone of plastic bag costume, and create something that could actually place in a contest. Learn a new makeup technique. Create a contest with your friends that excludes bag-buying. “Trick or Treat” shouldn’t refer to your outfit. Rebel this year, and be something your five-year-old-self would have been proud of. Take pictures that you’ll be proud to show to your own children. Be creative. Be unique. Exhibit your costume skills this year, not your ability to, like every other person, buy a bag for $19.95. I dare you.

The Change Behind Change

     I'm 8.5 weeks into my first coached fatloss program, and I'm very excited by my changing body and improved fitness levels. I'm harder, tighter, and stronger than I've ever been in my life. Even my sometimes-critical mom notices, she and my father saw me for the first time in 6 weeks last weekend and both kept calling me "skinny".

     (That actually stuck in my craw a little, I'm by NO MEANS skinny, and I kept having my mom poke parts of me to see they were in fact muscularly hard, not skinnyfat. I realized they just didn't have the vocabulary to describe my changing physique accurately, so used "skinny" instead of lean, svelte, cut, whatever.) I told my mom, proudly, "I haven't been this size since Junior High!" She responded, "Sarah, I don't know if you were ever this size. You certainly weren't this SHAPE." Which was intended as a compliment about how I look now, not a dig at how I looked then. (See, sometimes I AM capable of reading intent, not just responding to the words that were said. Sensitivity. I'm learning it.)

     Apart from the changes I'm seeing in my own body, I'm beginning to notice the positives in my own plan (again, thanks to the expertise of Robin Romero and Prissy Sassy Fitness) compared with the circular thinking and results of my previous weight-loss attempts. 

Here's me, pre-weight loss. Approximately 180lbs, on the right, there. 

What I was doing wrong:

Skipping meals to "save calories"

Avoiding "carbs" in the form of grains, and starches like potato

Cardio Guilt: If I ate something "bad" I'd do "extra cardio" to "burn it off"

Not being consistent, I'd stick to something for a week, MAYBE two, before returning to previous habits.

Never kicked alcohol to the curb. 

Weekend Setbacks: I'd be on-plan all week, Monday-Friday, then Friday night through Sunday night it was a free-for-all. Not a cheat meal, not a cheat day, a FREE FOR ALL weekend, which would more than undo any dietary progress I'd made during the week.

     Even when I was lifting heavy and exercising like a maniac (on Jamie Eason's Live Fit Trainer) I didn't lose fat consistently because of the above failures. Now, keep in mind, any exercise, any heavy lifting, those are steps forward. A very out of shape person can lose weight by making small tweaks in their diet or exercise levels. I, however, was at a point where I was cardiovascularly fit, and just was carrying around fat because I was eating wrong to lose it.

What I'm doing right, with guidance:

1.) Eating more small meals throughout the day. 

There is much debate in the diet/bodybuilding world as to whether this makes any difference in metabolism, as claimed by some. I don't know if it does or not, what it does for me is keeps me eating specific foods in specific amounts throughout the day, which staves off hunger and cravings, and stops me from being too hungry leading to a BINGE.

2.) Drinking a gallon of water or more per day.

Drinking water helps you lose fat. Period. Do it. You're made up of water. So are your muscles. WATER, just do it.

3.) I'm sticking to the meal plan. 

Sometimes I get one cheat meal a week. I'm not deviating from what I'm told to do, and I've been doing it for over 8 weeks. This has gotten me results. Consistency. Continual consistency gets results.

4.) Moderate cardio, heavy lifting.

When I say heavy lifting, I don't mean picking up your 7 year old kid during a tantrum. I mean 5+ days a week in a gym, lifting enough weight that by my 10th rep whatever body part is trembling with exertion and is almost unable to maintain form. It's a joy to finish a set of hip thrusters and feel my glute muscles scream in agony. THIS is what is meant by pain=progress.

     Seriously, that's about it. And knowing all this, seeing the differences in my body, it is really beginning to drive me batsh*t when I see friends doing the same circular failings I did when I didn't know any better. All those literal YEARS of dieting or deprivation, for NOTHING. It was so frustrating, to put forth all this effort and sacrifice for weeks on end, only to return to the former state, former weight, and not understand why permanent change wasn't happening for me. I'd explain it away with genetics, with "set weight point", any other myth I chose to believe to justify my stagnation. 

     If you're trying to lose weight, or lose fat, and you're doing it for the x-teenth time and experiencing the same issues you have in the past, TRY SOMETHING NEW. Don't perpetuate the cycle that leads to failure, TRY SOMETHING NEW. 

<Something new? Change. Over on the left, top, is my body 8 and 7 weeks ago. On the bottom is my body as of last Saturday (and a couple weeks back in the jeans. Yes, that is the same pair of jeans worn in both photos.) My body is changing. I'm not using tricks, photoshop, or anything else. These pics can also be seen on my Sarah4fitness profile on bodybuilding dot com, or facebook.>

    

   There is a LOT of misinformation out there, from fad diets (that includes you, Dr. Atkins, CARBS AREN'T THE DEVIL) to gimmicks (can you say pregnancy hormone starvation diet?), to seriously destructive methods of calorie counting like the damn My Fitness Pal app, which teaches you to obsess over the calorie count, and guesstimate what you're burning, and then to EAT MORE to "fill in" the calorie deficit.... NO NO NO. Such a detrimental app in the hands of someone who hasn't been fully educated on what EXACTLY your body really needs to lose fat. 

     Anyway, I'm trying hard not to preach. I'm trying hard not to poke people I see on Facebook or in my real life who keep hopping on the weight-loss carousel for a ride, rather than hopping OFF it in favor of a life change. I just continue on my own path, quietly (for the most part) hoping that when others are ready for true fat loss success, that they'll ask me how I did it, so I can direct them to help. Or hey, if they wait a little longer, until I'm certified as a trainer myself, so I can help them directly. Everyone deserves to have the body they want, and everyone can have it. They need the right tools.

Fighting Illusions, Keep it Real!

     Insecurity is an epidemic among women, regarding their body image. From a very young age, we are conditioned to attach self-worth to our physical image, and we are constantly barraged with the message that we, as we are, are not good enough. I'm going to share something really personal, and embarrassing:

     When I was in first grade, I remember noticing that my legs and arms were larger than some other girls in my class. I couldn't do anything about this, but already "knew" at that age that bigger wasn't better. My tummy was round, too, not protrusive or abnormal for that age, but it wasn't flat. Sometimes it would touch my shirts. It didn't look like the kids or women on tv, so even in first grade, I began to suck in my little 6 year old belly so I'd look thinner. Six. Years. Old. I had already internalized the message that my body in its natural state wasn't right, wasn't good enough. I kept at it, too, holding in my stomach as hard as I could as often as I could remember for most of my childhood, in public. (It surely strengthened my abs, I'll say that, but what did it do to my self-esteem?)
     I remember vividly, when I was 13, at summer camp, a girl told me she envied how flat my stomach was. I felt so proud, that my little trick had worked. She thought I was thin! (The heartbreaking part of that moment is that I was never a fat child, or teen. I was never even pudgy. I was strong, but my mental image of myself was so drastically distorted that I saw myself as a fat girl, when in fact, I was lean, see me at that age on the right.)

     Without delving into the social and media implications of these statements, I think it's fair to say these statements affect many of us, and I do not claim to be an exception. It is incredibly difficult to see ourselves honestly, let alone share ourselves with others.  I still struggle to stand naked in front of a mirror without sucking in my stomach, or flexing some part of my body to maintain the image I like to have of myself.

     Imagine then, the struggle I had against my own insecurities, as I was asked by my coaches to take "before" pictures, of my body in its current natural state, without sucking in, or manipulative posing, or any tricks to appear "better" than I am. I trust my coaches. I trust their confidence, I trust their expertise, and I trusted them to take me to a different physical place. NOT giving them the honest me would have been a disservice to them, and to myself as part of my journey. A clear and honest starting point is essential to my development, and I knew that, so I sucked it up, and let it out, and stood in full lighting without a tan, or sucking in, or anything, in my littlest bikini to show my coaches what they were working with.

     Okay, so I did it. I sent out honest pictures to my coaches. I even took more and posted them publicly as part of a BSN Summer Shred contest, telling myself it's OKAY to look "crappy" in my before photos, that's the whole point, so you can improve heartily from that point.

     The next big mental challenge was my check-in photos. One part of me was totally confident in my coaching, and my own dedication to the plan I was given, and that progress would happen naturally as my coaches ran my program they way the know best. Another part of me was scared. Is scared. Will continue to be scared that my progress is slower than my peers. That my body isn't changing the way it should be, at the speed my coaches (or others!) would expect. Every time I send out a progress update, I quake inside, fearing that even by the end of my 12 week period, I won't have made the kind of progress I've seen in others' progress photos.

     Some of my coaches' clients have posted progress pictures, and they're AMAZING. Waists have been whittled, thighs have shrunk, and butts have become beautiful, round little melons of awesomeness. I do not see these changes in myself. Even more intimidating, these described changes have happened QUICKLY for others, and I don't see the same rate of change in me. This is scary. This is intimidating. This makes the insecure little 6 year old in me want to suck in that belly, flex those ab muscles, tan my hide and tweak my poses in my photos to try to achieve the visual differences I see in others.

     I won't do it, though. I'd be cheating. I'd be cheating ONLY myself. My coaches aren't dumb. They know their sh*t. They can tell differences in lighting, in posing. They know what sucking in looks like. They know all the tricks, because if *I* know them, I know they know them. WE ALL know what a sucking-in-photo-manipulation looks like, because we've ALL done stuff like that to make our facebooks better, to improve our myspaces, or our avatars on whatever social media we give a damn about. We've untagged ourselves in candids that showed our unflattering angles. We may not know the extent of photoshop retouching done on any given magazine cover or ad, but we sure as hell know how to tweak ourselves to make ourselves look "our best," and those tricks are easy to spot when any other amateur is workin' 'em.

     So I won't cheat. I'll keep on progressing at my little snail pace. The point is I'm progressing, and I'm being honest with myself and my coaches, because anything else will hinder my progress more than a momentary ego boost of "Hey, lookit THIS progress pic compared to week 1! It's AMAZING!!!" I want to be AMAZING for real, not AMAZING at manipulation. I want to be able to walk around a beach in my tiny bikini, and NOT be sucking in, ever again. I want to focus on the beauty around me, not how I look at any given moment.
     Earnest change, honest change, is the real change I want to see in myself, for myself. Being cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world, and I won't do that to myself. I'm focused on overcoming my insecurities, rather than hiding them, and that will make all the difference.

How to eradicate STRESS from your life

Stress. 

     "I'm so stressed out!"
     "My life is SO stressful right now!"
     "Oh, I can't get xyz done, I'm too stressed."
I can teach you, in one sentence, how to completely eradicate stress from your life.

Want to know how?

Get a more descriptive vocabulary.

     No, really.
     "Stress" can be almost anything, and "having stress" is synonymous with BREATHING. Your body is under stress every day: pulled muscles, aches, pains, illnesses, constantly fighting germs and even the effect of gravity can cause physical stress. You give yourself physical stress by exertion, whether willfully exercising, or inadvertently having to dash for the bus you're about to miss.

     Stress can be emotional. Your dad could be diagnosed with cancer. You may have just had a spat with your significant other. Your time of the month may be pending, and you're late, or don't have access to chocolate you crave. You may have just started a diet, compounding physical stress with mental deprivation of foods you want, double stress!

     Stress can be mental. Overloaded with projects at work. Starting a new job. Keeping a difficult job! Hating your boss. Loving (bow chicka bow wow) your boss. Stress. Stress. Stress.

     Now here's the secret: EVERYONE has stress. It's a constant in everyone's life, all the time. From the aboriginal tribesman to the modern day white-collar Wall Street exec, everyone has some kind of stress. Now that we're all on equal footing, let's get over it.

     No, really.
     Saying, "I'm stressed," as an excuse for any kind of non-capable, non-adult behavior is just that. An excuse. Not a valid reason.
     "I just can't handle this, I'm too stressed." How many of us have heard that as an excuse for why something didn't get done, and now WE have to handle it? I bet everyone has heard that. Doesn't make it acceptable. Ten times out of ten, I'd rather someone took responsibility for their failing and ask for help, rather than blame their failing on the ever-present scapegoat, Stress.
     Don't tell me you're "stressed." Tell me the STRESSOR. I'm much more likely to be sympathetic to,
"Sarah, I couldn't meet you at the gym like we'd arranged because I over scheduled my day. I was late waking up because my boyfriend snored all night, I was late getting my kid to their doctor's appointment, and as I rushed to get home I accidentally tapped the car in front of me, so I had to deal with that."
     Specifics. Not just "I've had a stressful day." I care very much about your individual trials. I don't give a crap that it "stressed you out."

     Adults have standards of behavior that should be met. Don't let "Stress" be your excuse for rudeness, laziness, or making other people deal with your problems. If you have to get help, be specific as to why, and frankly, it doesn't hurt to apologize for your own shortcomings to those who will then be helping you. Let's ALL eradicate "Stress" from our vocabularies.

Tips on how to handle your day-to-day "Stress":

• Exercise. (Of course I advise this!) A quick 20 minute workout reintroduces endorphins to your system, and can decrease the effects of cortisol, which is the "stress hormone." Exercise more.
• Sleep. Get adequate sleep. The average adult needs approximately 7 - 9 hours of sleep per night. Find your ideal sleep pattern by going to bed at the same time every night, and allowing yourself to wake up naturally the next morning without an alarm. (Some may have to start this process on the weekend, as a body operating on a sleep deficit may oversleep at first, causing us to miss work!)
• Eat healthy foods, avoid processed foods. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean proteins help the body function, which in turn allows the body to handle more of the day-to-day issues that arise in a healthy manner. Avoid processed foods and sugar.
• Avoid alcohol. A glass of red wine in a bath can be a fine de-stressing wind-down to a day, but getting home after fighting traffic and immediately mixing yourself a double vodka martini is only going to compound your stress problems down the line.
• Talk. It's okay to vent to friends, humans bond over shared problems. 
• Physical touch. Engage in more touch. Whether cuddles with kids, pets, a significant other, or booking a massage, humans respond with relaxation to increased physical touch.
• My personal favorite: Immerse yourself in water. Whether it be taking a bath, hopping in a hot tub, a hot shower, or a quick swim in the pool, somehow the feel of water on our body helps to relax us. 

     If you have any additional unique and healthy ways to combat "Stress," please feel free to email me or add them in a comment below. I always welcome new techniques!

Magazines

     Well, after reading the latest Women's Health, to which I've had a subscription for years, I got off my butt and cancelled this worthless subscription this morning. I got irritated last night as I flipped through the Katherine McPhee featured mag, seeing NO muscle tone on any of the models, including the featured McPhee. So many articles about beauty, makeup, hairstyles, and only scant mentions of fitness.
     What really sealed the deal was reading the workout which advised using 8-12lb dumbbells 3 times a week to work out various parts of the body. Head, meet wall. Repeat. This stupid magazine seemingly perpetuates the myth that if women lift anything heavier than their own boobs, they'll turn into this:

(And hey, if you DO want to look that way, more power to you! It's not everyone's aesthetic of choice, but mad props to the women who put forth that kind of effort and determination to build the kind of body that takes that much hard work. No body deserves ridicule.)

     But let's be real: the average female who lifts weights, even (gasp) HEAVY weights (like, your own bodyweight! More than that! ERMAGERD!) won't look like that woman featured above without actually intending to get there. Magazines and articles that perpetuate this myth are detrimental to women, and fitness. Here's a woman who lifts heavy weights, and competes in fitness competitions:

See the difference? I'm not saying one kind of body is better/preferable to the other, but I want to point out the serious visual differences between what perception of weightlifters is versus the reality. For the record, this particular writer and fitness enthusiast would prefer to look like the strong and beautiful Jamie Eason (pic 2), but that body also takes hard work and relentless dedication to eating habits.

     Now, maybe other bodies can achieve the kind of results they want with 8 pound dumbbells, but my body didn't change until I picked up the heavy weights, and put down the processed foods. If you're looking to be genuinely strong, and want a magazine to help you carve away the fat while leaving you fit and healthy, and able to maintain a newly de-fatted body, please check out Oxygen over Women's Health. Doing so has made a huge difference in how I view myself, my goals, and how I've gone about losing 30 pounds of fat while increasing my muscle mass and lowering my BMI. I'm still a work in progress, but that below is 180 to 150lbs. If I can do it, ANYONE can.

Turn YOUR Fat into MUSCLE!!!

     Do you want to go from flabby to fit? From soft to hard? Do you dream of changing your fat into hard, admirable muscle?  I can tell you the secret to MAKE THAT HAPPEN, friend!

     And if you believe that, I've also got a timeshare on Mars I'd like to sell you. You arrive by TARDIS, and ride magical unicorns that fart See's candy. 

   THE TRUTH

     The truth is: it is impossible to turn fat into muscle. Fat is made up of cells. Fat cells. Muscle is made of up of cells. MUSCLE cells. You cannot magically turn one kind of cell into another, any more than you can turn your brain tissue into gluteal tissue. It just won't happen, no matter how big a butthead you are. You CANNOT turn one kind of cell into another.

     You CAN grow or shrink your fat cells. Eat a lot of junk and live a sedentary lifestyle, you can enlarge your fat cells or grow more of the squishy little buggers. Even when you lose fat through fit lifestyle and proper eating, you cannot GET RID of those fat cells. The only way to get rid of them is through liposuction, which literally sucks the cells out of your body and they're gone for good. (Until you go and create more.) 

     You CAN strengthen and grow your muscle cells as well. Strength training and proper diet can increase your muscle, increase your strength, and increase your metabolism all of which help to maintain a healthy weight, and help to eliminate fat from your  body. 

     I can't tell you how many times I see "turn fat into muscle in 3 easy steps" or some other such ludicrous claim. If you have a trainer, or a program, or a fat loss supplement that claims to "Turn fat" into ANYTHING, I'd seriously reconsider using that product, person, or program. It's an ignorant and misused claim, and you owe yourself better than getting duped by false promises. 

     Go out there. Build some muscle by weightlifting and eating right. LOSE some fat mass by avoiding processed foods and not overeating. But even when your new toned muscles start to come through, don't fool yourself into believing you somehow converted one kind of cell into another. You're not an alchemist. You're a person on their path to fitness. 

Sickness

     A couple years ago, I'd use any excuse to skip the gym. Stubbed my toe, gotta nurse that. Got a runny nose, better stay home! To the point of OMG Hangnail, better "go home first" and take care of it or it'll annoy me at the gym! These excuses led to my ongoing inability to lose weight. They led to my sense of failure, and they led to my negative self image.

     Now, I am one of those weird people who continue to work out unless they're confined-to-bed sick. After getting home from Seattle, my throat was swollen and sore, but I powered through it to enjoy my weekend, and it got me worse (or that may have been the natural progression of this bug) but I'm not skipping the gym ESPECIALLY on my new program because of a little head-bug.
     Despite coughing up something that looked like a small treefrog, armed with Dayquil and Mucinex, I go, I lift my weights, I do my cardio, but I make sure to wash my hands and wipe down my equipment so I won't share my nasty with others.

     I really, really hate being sick. I really hate being sick starting out this new plan, even though my stuffed up nose doesn't let me taste the asparagus I despise as much. What's really funny about this plan, is I'm in day 2, and I'm already tired of chewing. There is SO MUCH FOOD I have to eat, but it's low calorie, high nutrient food, so I'm probably flooding my poor sick system with precisely what it needs; good nutrition and vitamins while it works out this nasty bug.
     I'd like to update that while I was dubious about my prescribed workout yesterday (I'd been doing much more intense workouts with intervals, high intensity cardio, and mid-set cardio spikes) I felt how effective my heavy weights were this morning when I hauled myself out of bed. I'm SORE. Sore for the first time in a long time. Like, not ouchy that's uncomfortable sore, but can I walk today will I be able to walk tomorrow sore. It's nice. While I'm no fan of pain, I know it's my body remaking itself stronger and to me, that's a great feeling. It's fantastic to know my time in the gym is a success, not just going through the motions to say I went. Change. It's happening. Now if I could just get rid of this danged head cold!

Feeling Blue, in a Good Way

     All righty, despite my love of the gym, and of fitness and how I feel after a great sweat session, there are many mornings where I simply cannot motivate myself to get out of the warm home and head to the gym. I've also had an ongoing battle with my boobs (I'm sure I'll do a full post on THAT in the future) and finding appropriate bras/fitness wear that fits me how I want it to, and provides a level of support I want.

     You feel SO MUCH BETTER when you're wearing clothes that fit right, and feel good. It doesn't hurt if you like how they look, too! I've personally got a Thing for blue, if you couldn't tell from the photo. 

     What's your favorite color? For me, it's that elusive shade of aqua that happens right before a reefs drops off into deeper water in tropical seas. Over time, I've accumulated many items in a similar shade, and now I'm all about it as my combo with black. (Sometimes hot pink gets in the mix too, can't help that not everything I want/need comes in aqua!) Point is, when I'm feeling slumpy and lazy, decking myself out in matching workout gear can help me to say YES, I want to make this another awesome workout day! 

     Moral of the story is: Find workout gear/outfits that make you feel GOOD about working out. You want to catch glimpses of your body in the gym mirrors and think, "Hey! That person looks strong/fit/sweaty/choose your own goal word here/awesome!" and then realize, holy crap, that person is me.

     Moments like that are moments that keep you returning to the gym, keep you strong in your goals, and keep you wanting to pursue your dreams of fitness and health.  Sometimes a little reward, like buying a new workout top, phone case, water bottle, or cardio-song is a great way to keep your motivation high, and contributes to your ongoing enjoyment of time in the gym.

January; What I'm doing, and Why

     On December 31, 2012, I weighed myself. On my home scale, first thing in the morning, bootybutt naked, not having consumed food or water prior to weighing.  My weight was 156 pounds. This is approximately 3-6 pounds heavier than where I've been for the past three months, and is one pound higher than my "OMIGOD my weight is up too high!" weight. This weight was not a surprise, however, and I did not panic. I let my healthy eating slip a lot since Thanksgiving, and in the past two weeks had eaten out frequently, completely ignored my basic caloric and protein/carbs/fats requirements. I had, however, been consistently exercising, working out according to the plan I'd set for myself, with only one rest day a week. My strength has been increasing, as has my endurance, so I am in no mental emergent state thinking my current weight is going to continue to spiral upwards, or out of control.

     Like many, I've got my New Years resolutions (or goals) for the year. Some are general, some geared towards family, friends, and personal betterment, but here I'm going to focus on my general and specific goals for my fitness and health. Several of my goals come in stages, which is important, because it allows me to work towards a bigger long term goal in smaller, manageable increments. Achieving each smaller goal will be an accomplishment in itself, and will fill me with pride to have come so far.

Goals
1.) Weight
    a.) I will weigh less than 150 pounds
    b.) I will weigh 145 pounds or less
    c.) I will weigh under 140 pounds
2.) I will go through January without consuming alcohol.
3.) I will complete Jamie Eason's Live Fit 12 week workout series.
4.) I will complete an unassisted pull up.

     Please keep in mind, these "weight" goals are not randomly picked. I have estimated my ideal weight for my height, muscularity, body type, and ever increasing fitness level. According to these calculations, for my height (5'4.5") I should weigh between 122 and 132 pounds. My current overall goal is to weigh approximately 135 pounds, and my above goals incrementally bring me very close to that goal. I do not believe in arbitrarily picking a weight and obsessing about achieving it; I believe that muscle and fitness are more important than a number on a scale, or even a dress size. I do not believe in obsessing over the scale rather than focusing on proper nutrition and exercise. I do however find it a good measure of progress, and use it as a tool rather than a be-all, end-all line of judgement.

     To achieve my goals, I am adhering to two main plans. One is a diet, the second is an exercise plan.
For two weeks I am following Tosca Reno's Eat Clean Diet (Recharged) "Cooler 1 Plan". This consists of lots of vegetables, high fiber carbs, high protein, and healthy fats. (Feel free to check this out at http://www.eatcleandiet.com, or ask me for more specifics.) I am adding additional supplements to this diet, including fish oil, multivitamin, casein and whey protein, and bcaa supplements, which I have found improve my workouts and minimize soreness.

     The second plan is my workout plan. I've been following the Live Fit program, and am on my 8th week. (Check it out here: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-eason-livefit-trainer.html ) I have not been following the eating plan, especially lately, but expect I would have seen much faster progress if I had. I have however, been VERY strict about giving it my all every workout, and not skipping workouts. Exercising 6 days a week has become a habit, and I'm always much happier after a gym session. I am excited to see what changes occur going forward with proper nutrition and portion sizes.

     So, I've taken my measurements, I've taken my photos, I'm ready to rock my goals in the New Year.

It Starts

Today, as I strained up from a set of straight-leg dead lifts, a drop of sweat (ew, right?) made it's way from my hairline down my forehead, along the side of my nose, and I swear it looked just like a tear. I laughed to myself, and found in that moment my new gym mantra. Sweat, not tears.
My "teardrop"

Life has thrown some pretty lame moves at me lately, and instead of wallowing in self pity, I've found fun and exertion at the gym are just what I need to move forward through the stress. Working out is a fantastic way for the body to reduce stress. It releases endorphins. It gives you a mental sense of accomplishment. For me, while I'm concentrating on pushing my body, it takes all my focus and allows me to ignore what's going on outside of the gym doors. Fitness has become my escape.

For a long time, I've considered starting a fitness or body blog. I've spent time on fitness websites, ordered subscriptions to Fitness, Women's Health, and Oxygen Magazine. (Incidentally, the only one worth reading, in my humble opinion, for anything more than fluff, is Oxygen.) I've worked out since I discovered the weight room in high school, and for years was an avid devotee of hours on the ellipse machine.

My weight has gone up, my weight has gone down. A never ending weight roller-coaster. I'm definitely a typical "average woman," I've never seen a size 2, I frequently lament the size of my thighs, and I struggle with knowing what's good for me to eat, versus what tastes or feels good in my face hole. Hence, my fitness journey, ramblings, and experiences may help others on their path towards a healthy, happy, body-accepted lifestyle. Share my journey with me!