Inner Strength

     As I'd read others' progress and blogs and transformation stories, they all seem to have common themes that run throughout. One such theme is the Other People Don't Get It / Peer Pressure theme, and I'd always kind of dismissed it as a person's own weakness working itself out. I'm now experiencing this phenomenon firsthand, and it's not. easy. to. dismiss.

     Last night, my husband, meaning no ill, said offhandedly, "Hey, you should ask your coaches if you get a cheat meal this weekend, cuz if you don't, I'd like to go out with some other people so it won't be weird. You're no fun anymore." He didn't say this with cruelty, or with intent to hurt, but let me tell you, I haven't been able to get it out of my head ALL DAY.
     Number one, the insinuation that going out to dinner with me is weird. Yeah, it is. I know this. I eat out of tupperware now, and don't order food or drinks. I drink from my shaker bottles, and drink water. I totally understand how this would be less awesome than sharing off my plate, trying new things, or feeding each other romantically off forks.
     Two, I also understand that it's less fun to drink with someone who's not drinking. When I say drinking, I mean alcohol, obviously. I don't think drinking tons of water qualifies as "fun," either. It makes ya pee frequently, and it doesn't make you goofy.
    Three, and possibly the saddest, is the possibility of not only missing out on the food others are enjoying, but missing out on the experience and company because someone would rather eat with others who are eating "normally" than with ME. Forget relationship, forget personality, it all comes down to what you put in your mouth in public? Could that be any harsher?

     So needless to say, I was hurt and sad, and more than a little angry at that offhanded comment, and how it affected my mood for the rest of the day. I turned to my coach, who helped me get my head on straight by illuminating my priorities. I can't let someone else's opinion of my adjusted lifestyle be more important than my progress, or my efforts and days of eating right will be compromised. There's a way I want to be, and I've NEVER said my goals are to make others happy with what I'm eating, or how I look, or how strong I am.
   
     That said, here's an open request to people not dieting: you wouldn't look at your fat friend's plate, see they had fried chicken, and say, "Hey, are you sure you should be eating that? Hello cause/effect." Why? Because it's totally rude, hurtful, and socially unacceptable. You wouldn't tell an anorexic friend that they look "gross so skinny," again, because it's hurtful and detrimental. But to comment that it's weird for a fit person to bring their own meal is totally socially acceptable. You can joke with a fit friend that they're "obsessed with the gym." They're the ones society hasn't yet decided deserve the same sensitivity to their physical differences and needs. I'm in no way comparing being fit to being fat, or having an eating disorder. I'm just asking that everyone be sensitive to everyone else's eating habits and needs, and maybe avoid negative commentary altogether. Please. Because there's a strong chance my current sensitivity to this topic has a lot to do with craving exactly what you're eating right now. And I've used up all my willpower to NOT go eat it, so what's left is my brain without willpower saying PLEASE BE NICE TO ME.